Guess what? Easter isn’t exclusively Christian.

There. I bloody said it.

And while we’re at it, Chocolate eggs, the Easter Bunny and egg hunts have absolutely diddly-squat to do with Christianity. Hey, did you hear about that part in the Holy Bible where a bunny rabbit sent Jesus on a non-so-tricky hunt for chocolate eggs? No, neither did I. Because it’s NOT FECKING IN THERE.

Even the word Easter isn’t Christian.

Easter, like many Western celebrations, is an evolution of a number of different beliefs from a number of different belief systems– some current, some relic – that have over time all merged together and subsequently been spat out under one name and accompanied by a number of inexplicably bizarre traditions.

Of course this hasn’t stopped the droves of self-entitled Christians from posting on the Cadbury’s Facebook page, whipping up a false narrative of “Christian persecution” and moaning that it is all just soooo offensive towards Christianity that Easter is being removed from Easter Egg boxes.

Yes, that’s right. Apparently removing a word that isn’t Christian on the packaging of a product that has nothing to do with Christianity is somehow offensive to Christians.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the logic of religion. Or at least some religious people, since I don’t want to tar all Christians with this brush as I am sure the majority of them are thinking this entire thing is just as asinine as I do.

Oh no, they’re all going to boycott Cadbury, they attest in their dozens. As if that is the first time a company has ever had to hear that on their Facebook page and not see a single drop in sales. (Seriously, head over to the Cadbury UK Facebook page, there are PLENTY of morons over there right now, but also plenty of people setting them straight.)

First things first…

If the situation isn’t already too silly for words, the whole thing isn’t true anyhow. Cadbury haven’t removed the word Easter from their packaging. Or their marketing. Or even their eggs. Or even their website. Or even from their social media pages. Apparently this whole thing is because a few Cadbury Easter products don’t display the word Easter as prominently as they did before, and they now call their Easter Egg hunts The Great Big Egg Hunt or something equally innocuous. (Of course Easter is still plastered all over the marketing, but why let facts get in the way of a juicy Internet bandwagon?)

Tell you what, you count how many Cadbury product lines have downplayed the word Easter and I’ll count how many times I can see the word Easter appear on Cadbury’s Facebook page and website over the last week. Guess what? MY NUMBER IS BIGGER THAN YOURS. NA NAAAA NA NAAAA NA.

Of course British PM Theresa May had to just wade in all guns blazing, blindly stating that Cadbury’s decision to “remove” Easter was “ridiculous”. Just to think, a politician wading in on a subject they have little-to-no grasp on. Perhaps May should be spending a little more time focusing on things like Brexit negotiations, hypocritical arms trades with Saudi Arabia and trying to at least slightly stick to the Conservative Party manifesto.
 
There is no one that is “offended” by Easter…

If I had a £1 coin for every time someone implied or stated outright that the word Easter is being removed because it offends other people, I’d have enough money to buy all the damn Easter Eggs.

The simple fact is this. Radical extremists are offended by YOU. Everything about you. The fact you live in a plural society that accepts more than one idea and where different ideologies can co-exist. That is what offends extremists. So no, they don’t give two shits about Easter. No one does. No one is offended by Easter. Please stop making out that they are.

Easter is a cultural celebration…

Sorry Christians. The UK is an increasingly secular place. The number of people who go to church or describe themselves as any of the many Christian denominations are falling like a rock off a cliff. But celebrations like Easter aren’t going to follow suit. Why? Because Easter isn’t exclusively Christian. As such, Christians don’t have exclusive rights to Easter. They don’t have any rights to Easter. No one does. It’s both a cultural and theist holiday with a myriad of traditions that have little to do with any one set of beliefs, theist, spiritual or otherwise.

Christians have every right to celebrate Easter any way they like, as does anyone else. What Christians don’t have the right to do is purport they “own” Easter, or that Easter is synonymous with Christianity. It isn’t.

So ultimately it really doesn’t matter in any way how big the font size of the word Easter is on the packaging of your eggs. If you choose to avoid buying an Easter Egg because Easter is only written on the back and not the front, then that’s your right, but you’re still being plain stupid.